[Just a disclaimer: Please don’t read this if you have lost a dear one, I don’t want to bring back any of those painful memories for you]
Gloomy, rainy evening…We walked into a room of relatives speaking amongst themselves about how happy his mom had been on the occasion of Griha Pravesh last Sunday. We looked for our friend and found him sitting on the edge of the bed in his new room. How was he coping with it? Has he cried? Will there be an outburst? How do we console him? Should we say something or should we just be? Struggling to hold back tears, I chose to just sit still.
He then spoke, with tears streaming down his face.
She was right here, sitting in front of me sipping her tea this morning. She had come to wake me up. I bargained for some sleep. After sometime I woke up and went on to get ready for work, while she cooked lunch for us. I heard her voice from inside the bathroom, telling me that she was feeling uneasy. I asked her to lie down on the bed for sometime. I came and saw her lying motionless on the floor minutes later. I couldn’t understand what to do. I couldn’t understand what was happening. I called my neighbors and asked my friend to come over. We had to take her to the hospital. Why? What was going on? She was completely fine just minutes ago. His voice trembled as he spoke, hands shivered and he kept looking steadily as scenes from the morning’s horror kept playing in front of his eyes.
I lost all restraint and cried.
It’s an unfathomable thought to lose a family member leave alone someone who has been the reason behind you breathing and living. How do humans cope with the thought of not having another day to breathe? Not having another minute to even just be! In a minute, your entire world crumbles and you are left with nothing but to just cope! At this point I’m only being reminded of what Morrie had to say to his student – When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
Not delving any further into this, all I’d say is have a defense mechanism and a support system for yourself. Be resilient and I guess you can also connect with people going through similar situations at http://www.optionb.org
Nothing but time can heal with various sources supporting you to reduce the severity of the situation. Build resilience!